What Not to Do

This is an entirely random list of things I need not to do:

1. Assume no one is watching through your window. Okay so I guess I should explain this one. Out of my halls room window all you can see is trees and for this reason I have never shut my curtains. Not once. So one day I was getting dressed and then realised my dress could do with an iron. Naturally I began ironing it whilst just in my underwear. Lo and behold I glance out of the window for just enough time to make eye contact with a middle aged man stood under the trees. Casj. He looked uncomfortable and then made the decision to wave, nervously. I reciprocated and we stood waving awkwardly at each other for what seemed like an hour. From that day on I see him occasionally and wave. I’ve named him Dave. 

2. Sleep so deeply. Do you really want this one explained? Ohh okay go on then. Nothing can wake a sleeping me. Not even a raging fire alarm. One fateful night this week at 3am someone decided to burn some toast hence setting it off. Everyone evacuated and all was good. Or was it? Some people did eventually notice that I was not amongst those shivering outside. The halls manager then came and knocked on my door. Apparently I then told them to enter (this I do not recall at all). He then found me in solely jim jam shorts and no covers. I correct myself here. I do get woken by shocked screams of men. I was then quickly told to leave and was allowed only to grab a cardigan on my way out. Just my luck that the one I picked lacks the most important of buttons. At least the boys got a show. Lucky twats.

3. Give in to deals on sweets. I will have no money left and no teeth. Why is it so hard to say no to sour sweeties!

4. Rely on people. Trusting people is difficult for me anyway so when I do I think they’re going to be nice and care. I’m wrong. Don’t do this. (Except wifey she the best)

5. Leave assignments to the last weekend. This is not always enough time Rea stop doing it! 

6. Ring the seven sevens taxi company. Yes they have a database and yes for reason some oddly personal details about you are stored on it. Yet, everytime I ring I am so shocked when they greet me by name and ask me how dentistry is going and if I’ve been to see the latest film because they think I’ll really enjoy it. I’m sorry I thought you provided taxis.. Not friendly chit chat and stalkerishness! 

There’s many more but it’s late lunch time and I’ve been unable to eat due to sickness for the past week so now am treasuring meal times even more. In between meal meals are the best! Ooohh also my bestie is currently travelling in Kenya. Jel that she’s having such a better life than me atm.

So long suckers. And I’d like to give a big shout out to my homeboy Dave! Incase you’re reading.. Which I oddly think you are.. Suspicious 



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