21 Questions

Random set of 21 questions answered for no apparent reason. Enjoy bitches.

  • What’s your favourite colour? 

That would have to be green. Not even a particular shade just any type of green. Until it starts looking vom like then it wouldn’t be ideal but other than that green. Can’t you tell? She blushes. Pshh no I don’t wear green much. I just like it.

  • The most embarrassing moment?

The? I don’t know. Mine? Umm there’s been way too many. My personal favourite was going to the doctors and forgetting my body was sharpied with inappropriate details of myself the night before when I was passed out at a party. ‘I love cock so much it literally hurts’ he smiles and says oh so casj whilst trying to listen to me breathe ‘I hope that’s not what you’re here for.. Nothing much I can do for that’. Hilarious Doc, just hilarious.

  • Are Lipton employees allowed to take coffee breaks?

I’m English. Lipton does tea. So no. They wouldn’t be allowed coffee breaks but tea breaks would be compulsory. 

  • Are you dating anyone? (if no) are you taking any applications?

Nope and I don’t think so.. Unless you’re applying to be my future hubby and baby daddy because time is ticking. I want kids by 25.. Rethinking that application? 

  • Favourite pass-time you enjoy doing naked?

Hmm well I really like showering and can spend hours under hot water so I guess for me that counts as a pass-time and not just a necessity right? Other than that I guess I don’t mind sexy time.. Ha don’t mind.

  • What’s the habit you’re proudest of breaking?

I’ve cut down on my tea drinking substantially and if you know anyone English you know how difficult that is. Not only do you drink tea on your own time but if you go to someone’s house and refuse the usual ‘shall I put the kettle on?’ then you get a funny look and they assume something is wrong with you.

  • Do you think that fish get thirsty?

I think it depends on whether it’s freshwater or seawater fish right? Boom! And you thought I wouldn’t care.. I really don’t.

  • What is the opposite of opposite?

The same? Who wrote these?!

  • What word starts with “f” and ends with “u-c-k”?

Fruittruck! See I wasn’t thinking fuck.. I lie really well right?

  • People always say that the future is uncertain then why do we take insurance policies and go for career counselling?

Because the future is uncertain don’t we need insurance policies to kick in when things go unexpectedly wrong..? I’m not entirely sure what career counselling involves but if it’s just advice then it’s because people don’t like just going with the flow. People like planning. Even if it is uncertain.

  • What colour is a chameleon on a plaid shirt?

Wasn’t aware a chameleon could only be one colour. Oh disney how you fooled me. Which ever is the main colour. Besides what’s a chameleon doing on your shirt  homes?!

  • What was your funniest moment in life?

I just do not have time to think about this. I find everything in my life laughable. I really enjoy falling down my outdoor concrete stairs to my flat though.. NOT

  • Does anyone ever vanish with a trace?

Yes they can. But I’m guessing it will be difficult to ask them if they have so you’re going to have to be original as they are doing it so well they can’t provide hints for you. Also what have you done that you need to..? Should I be concerned?

  • Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

Because mould still loves sour cream. No discrimination. 

  • What disease did cured ham actually have?

Whoever wrote these has idiot disease if that helps?

  • Why are those “easy open” food packages never easy to open?

I think you’ll find that if you have a functioning brain and decent manual dexterity and are not a complete and utter fool they are pretty damn easy. Jeeez

  • What is the one thing would I ‘not’ know about you at the first meeting?

A lot.. Surely you can’t cram everything about yourself in one meeting. Unless it’s a lifelong meeting. But I guess the main thing would be that I am an addict to addictions.

  • Do you think Tony the Tiger is sexy? 

The adverts over the years have taught me he can hacky-sack like a pro, he likes saying greeaattt and his stripes fall off when he swims. Meh I guess I’d tap that. He’s fierce.

  • Did Adam and Eve have navels?

Didn’t know them well enough to ask them to strip for me..

  • Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

Does anyone get the full effect? Usually consumed by children who can’t understand the letters anyway aren’t they? Who even cares.

  • Was this an utter waste and provide little to no insight into me as a person?

Yes, yes indeed. And yeah you got me.. I wrote the last one. Sue me. 


4 thoughts on “21 Questions

  1. James says:

    Haha this was jokes. To answer your chameleon question, chameleons change colour according to their mood and not due to their background.

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