Squeeze me?!

I have not been posting much as I am currently super busy failing my exams.

Yesterday before my exam I happened to be sitting on the floor outside the room waiting to go in, as you do, when this super hot guy walks past into the room whilst giving me a ‘she’s defs insane’ look. Turns out hot guy was an invigilator in the exam. It’s inconsiderate for him to look like that, soo distracting.

Half way through my exam he comes up to me and asks me to fill in my attendance slip. I then told him in a whisper that I’d already filled one in and seem to have been given a spare one. He then, no joke, looks straight into my eyes and goes ‘well aren’t you a lucky girl then’ and winks. What the actual hell. I’m so unsure why this is happening in the middle of my exam that I respond with a vague attempt at a smile, which ended up being an irritated look and then continue writing. He then stands next to my desk for a whole five minutes before moving away. Seriously?! Even people sat around me commented on his lurking.

Bizarre life I has.


If Only

If only my life was like a bollywood film. What is this girl smoking?! That’s what you’re thinking I’m guessing. I’m talking old bollywood. Not any of this new ‘we’re doing hollywood stuff now and yeah it’s fine to kiss and what musical numbers?’. This new type is not okay. I want the magic back and I want it in my life too. 

I want the way over the top drama. I want to fall instantly in love and have my hair blowing in the wind whilst wearing the most amazing sari that shows off my perfect waist. I want people to break out into random song and everyone for some unknown reason knows the dance routine. I want to cry about my heartbreak and still look beautifully stunning. And most importantly I would like my happy ending.

Weird but I’d give up my revision filled, vaguely boring current uni life in a heartbeat for a little more bollywood spice. 

Help Wanted

Your mission, should you choose to accept, is to make me a sex playlist. Yay fun right!! Or creepy, you know, whatever.

One that won’t give the wrong impression that I want to marry the other person.. For example when there’s a moment of silence and all you can here is something gross like ‘I’ll love you forever you the best wifey in town!’, which usually leads to me and whoever the other person is looking at each other like ha awks gonna ignore that. It is difficult to find songs appropriate for sexy time that aren’t hopeless love songs and that is exactly why I need your help. 

Go Team Sexy Time!